Posted by: eveyoga | July 29, 2011

The Price of People Pleasing

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It’s so easy to fall into the role of a people pleaser as a yoga teacher. Maybe teaching is even one of those sorts of helping professions that attract people pleasers.

Here’s how it can go…. As a beginning teacher, you want to have your students hang around, so you end up being extra nice to them to assure they like you a lot. Also, by being so likeable, you can control what others think of you and how they act towards you – avoiding the possibility of rejection.

The trouble with being so nice is that you end up not being yourself, possibly even forgetting who you are.

The characteristic of maintaining control of everything in one’s environment is strong with people pleasers, no less with p.p. yoga teachers. You will offer assistance but don’t accept it from others. Meanwhile your own needs are not getting met, so resentment arises.

A trap for beginning yoga teachers is taking on too much teaching. Someone needs a class covered while they are on holidays. A new opportunity comes up which is too tempting to pass up, even though it feels burdensome. Suddenly, you notice you’re teaching everyday of the week, and even your practice time has become eroded.

A solution in this situation is giving yourself permission to say “no”, which will ultimately make your “yes” more valid.

Is people pleasing always bad? I hope not. We humans like to be pleased; and, it is rewarding to serve others when it is in the right spirit of giving. This is the very heart of the practice of karma yoga.

Constant kindness can accomplish so much. Kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. – Albert Schweitzer

We are here to awaken from our illusion ofseparateness. – Thich Nhat Hanh

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Responses

  1. i struggle with this in my teaching too…being connected to others and taking care of self…


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