Posted by: eveyoga | March 7, 2010

Whinge

In my life, I have nothing really to complain about. I would have to overlook that fact that I live in a brand new house in the country, not too far from the beach. I am the envy of my girlfriends because I have such an incredibly wonderful husband. I live with him in our beautiful house, and also with Heather & Rick who are the nicest, most supportive people you could know. My health is improving every day because I don’t have arthritis anymore. (Instead, I have two 5 week old hip prostheses.) We’re all working on a big project of landscaping our property, and I absolutely love gardening. Since leaving the city and moving here 4 months ago, I’ve been writing stories, articles and this blog, writing being another love of mine.

So what’s the deal? It goes something like this. I was awakened at 1am and couldn’t get to sleep again until around 3am. My mind kicked into ruminating. I think you might have experienced this mode: “I hope I get to sleep….I’ve been awake for a while now; I wonder how long?….Uh, oh, now I’m going to be awake for a long time….I wonder if I should get up and read….No, I’m sure I’ll fall off to sleep shortly….” And so on….

Eventually I got up to read around 2pm, a good idea, as it turned out. See, one of the reasons, I was having trouble sleeping was I was blaming Daniel for waking me up (which he did accidentally). In between the above comments I was having about not sleeping I was interjecting judgments about my husband. My mind was getting all coiled up in itself like those old-fashioned wonky audio tapes.

Fortunately, I’d chosen Saki Santorelli’s excellent book Heal Thy Self to read, which led me to a section on cultivating compassion, specifically “Awareness of the Protected Heart”.

He says, “The next time you feel hurt, miserable, or closed down, take a little time and dwell in the awareness of the breath and the feelings in your chest – the tightness, the sense of contraction and hardness. As you begin to live in these feelings, notice how much softness and transparency exist inside their seeming solidarity.”

Well, back in bed, I rested my hand on my heart and discovered those feelings Santorelli was describing, the hardness and the softness within. Amazingly these feelings were easy to access.

It’s so true that blaming hurts you more than the other person. Life Lesson 525 – to be learned for one more time!

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Responses

  1. Nice one Eve.

  2. So glad that you are enjoying Saki’s book! I am on my second time of reading and am still reaping some rich pickings….
    Have just completed another teaching weekend, facilitating The Magic of Allowing. It was wonderful – the best yet!
    Talking of gardening, I have an enormous number of brilliant orange cannas for you to collect when you next come to Sydney, plus a couple of other gems which may flourish on Mitchells Island.
    Love to you Eve,
    Kate
    x

    • Hi Kate,
      So happy that “The Magic Of Allowing” went well. You have so much to contribute.
      And, yes, Santorell’s book would be worth it’s weight just for the poetry in it, and he writes like a poet too.
      I’ll be in Sydney Mar. 18 to the 22nd, and again Apr. 15 to 22, so let’s get together!
      Love,
      Eve


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